Grandpa - Bill Neville

Commentary By T.W. Bill Neville

After 87 years of taking up space on planet earth, 23 of them in Labelle, Florida, I was beginning to feel neglected. Practically everyone over 65 that I know had received a "GRANDPA" call, except me, but this past Tuesday morning, that changed.

The phone rang while I was still at breakfast, contemplating my naval, when the phone rang and a "younger" voice said, hello Grandpa, do you know where I am? At first I thought it sounded enough like my Grandson in Illinois, who was supposed to be in Las Vegas. But the voice didn't "quite" make the "grade" having just a hint of Hispanic undertones, and when he asked me where i thought he was, I decided to have some fun with him.

I said Peru, Indiana, and he responded that I was half right, he was in Lima, Peru. By this time I had put two and two together and knew I was being "targeted" by the "Grandpa Scam." So I decided to "play" along and see how long I could keep him on the "hook", we were already about 20 minutes long.

I commented that I thought he was going to Las Vegas and Circus Circus, which like Peru had lots of Circus animals in Winter quarters. He said no, that he and 3 of his buddies had contracted for a fishing trip, So I inquired as to what kind of fish were they after and he said Tuna, which prompted me to ask what bait did they use, and that's when he decided to "set" the "hook" in ME.

There was no boat and when they couldn't come up with the money being demanded, they were put in jail.and could I wire $800 immediately I don't know why, but I immediately fabricated a story, and responded that his timing was perfect because a next door neighbor had called the Sheriff about a stray dog and a deputy was just then pulling up in his driveway, and I would get the Deputy on the phone for his advice as to what I should do. Suddenly, the phone went dead, and I was no longer "connected" and ON the "HOOK."

Funny, how I don't feel so "neglected" anymore, and, "yes" my Illinois Grandson was in Las Vegas and got a big kick out of my "finally', nearly, joining the "Grandpa Scam!!" club. As I write this article, I'm having a "Tuna" salad sandwich and a beer, in celebration of my "NEAR", initiation, into the "CLUB!"