Effective Validation Phrases to Use
“I can see how upset this makes you feel.”
Use this to acknowledge authentic emotion, regardless of your agreement with their reasoning.
“It’s understandable you’d feel that way in this situation.”
This validates the emotional reaction to circumstances, without making a judgment about the facts.
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”
This phrase validates their willingness to open up, encouraging trust and communication.
“I hear what you’re saying.”
Simple but powerful, it shows active listening and respect for their perspective.
“That sounds really difficult/challenging/frustrating.”
Empathizes with their emotional experience, not with the accuracy of their beliefs.
“It must be disappointing when things don’t go as planned.”
Reflects understanding of disappointment, a universally valid emotion.
“How can I support you right now?”
This offers help in a nonjudgmental way and invites further sharing.
“It makes sense you’d feel that way given what you just described.”
Connects their feelings to their stated experiences, not necessarily to outside facts.
Validation Phrases to Avoid - Don't Validate Untruths or Invalidate Emotions
“You’re right,” when discussing an untrue or misleading statement.
Do not affirm inaccurate claims as correct—that’s agreement, not validation.
“Everyone feels that way sometimes,” when it’s not true.
Avoid minimizing or giving inaccurate universality to their experience.
“You shouldn’t feel that way,” “You’re overreacting,” or “It’s not a big deal.”
These are classic invalidation phrases, dismissing their genuine emotional state.
“Don’t worry about it,” “Just get over it,” “Cheer up,” “Look on the bright side.”
These bypass their current feelings and can make them feel misunderstood or rushed.
“At least it’s not worse,” or “You’re lucky compared to others.”
Comparing minimizes their feelings and implies they’re not justified in feeling how they do.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Sounds distancing and can be perceived as dismissive or patronizing.
“If you just did X, you wouldn’t feel this way,” or “That’s not what happened.”
Problem-solving prematurely or insisting on your own view can shut down their expression and is not validating.
In practice:
“You’re right,” when discussing an untrue or misleading statement.
Do not affirm inaccurate claims as correct—that’s agreement, not validation.
“Everyone feels that way sometimes,” when it’s not true.
Avoid minimizing or giving inaccurate universality to their experience.
“You shouldn’t feel that way,” “You’re overreacting,” or “It’s not a big deal.”
These are classic invalidation phrases, dismissing their genuine emotional state.
“Don’t worry about it,” “Just get over it,” “Cheer up,” “Look on the bright side.”
These bypass their current feelings and can make them feel misunderstood or rushed.
“At least it’s not worse,” or “You’re lucky compared to others.”
Comparing minimizes their feelings and implies they’re not justified in feeling how they do.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Sounds distancing and can be perceived as dismissive or patronizing.
“If you just did X, you wouldn’t feel this way,” or “That’s not what happened.”
Problem-solving prematurely or insisting on your own view can shut down their expression and is not validating.
In practice:
Validate emotions, reactions, and the effort it took to share, but avoid validating (agreeing with) facts or viewpoints you know to be false.
Focus on “I hear you,” “That must be hard,” and “You seem [emotion],” rather than “You are right about [questionable statement].” This maintains empathy and respect without reinforcing misinformation.
Use validation phrases that acknowledge a person’s real emotions or accurate, reasonable viewpoints, but avoid agreeing with statements that are untrue, minimizing, or dismissive.
Appropriate validation focuses on how someone feels rather than labeling their beliefs as correct or incorrect.
Validation Phrases to Use
“I can see why you’d feel that way.”
“That sounds like a tough experience.”
“It makes sense you’re frustrated given what happened.”
“Thank you for telling me how you feel.”
“I hear that this is very upsetting for you.”
“I understand how much this matters to you.”
“How can I support you right now?”
“Your feelings are important.”
Use these phrases to reflect understanding and acceptance of the other person’s emotions, not necessarily to affirm the truth of everything they’ve said.
“I can see why you’d feel that way.”
“That sounds like a tough experience.”
“It makes sense you’re frustrated given what happened.”
“Thank you for telling me how you feel.”
“I hear that this is very upsetting for you.”
“I understand how much this matters to you.”
“How can I support you right now?”
“Your feelings are important.”
Use these phrases to reflect understanding and acceptance of the other person’s emotions, not necessarily to affirm the truth of everything they’ve said.
Validation Phrases to Avoid
“You’re right,” when the statement is factually false.
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”
“Everyone feels that way.”
“It’s not a big deal; move on.”
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“At least it’s not worse.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Others have it worse than you.”
Avoid phrases that dismiss, judge, minimize, or question the validity of the person’s feelings, or that inadvertently agree with false, exaggerated, or unsupported claims.
Bottom line:
“You’re right,” when the statement is factually false.
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”
“Everyone feels that way.”
“It’s not a big deal; move on.”
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“At least it’s not worse.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Others have it worse than you.”
Avoid phrases that dismiss, judge, minimize, or question the validity of the person’s feelings, or that inadvertently agree with false, exaggerated, or unsupported claims.
Bottom line:
Validate by showing understanding of feelings, not by confirming false statements or dismissing their experiences.
https://tuulivahtra.com/a-step-by-step-guide-to-validating-emotions-and-feelings/
https://www.besttherapists.com/blog/emotional-invalidation-examples
https://elliementalhealth.com/how-to-validate-someones-feelings-and-become-a-better-listener/
https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/2016.12-Family-Connections-Module-5-TN-Validation-PDF.pdf
https://www.hopeforbpd.com/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment/validating-statements
https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/the-art-of-emotional-validation
https://michaelssorensen.com/how-to-validate-someone-when-you-dont-agree-with-them/
https://sharonselby.com/attachment/12-examples-of-validating-statements-to-foster-empathy/
https://drjamielong.com/validation-5-things-not-to-say/
https://counselingcentergroup.com/6-levels-of-validation-dbt-skill/
https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening-techniques/
https://www.besttherapists.com/blog/emotional-invalidation-examples
https://elliementalhealth.com/how-to-validate-someones-feelings-and-become-a-better-listener/
https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/2016.12-Family-Connections-Module-5-TN-Validation-PDF.pdf
https://www.hopeforbpd.com/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment/validating-statements
https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/the-art-of-emotional-validation
https://michaelssorensen.com/how-to-validate-someone-when-you-dont-agree-with-them/
https://sharonselby.com/attachment/12-examples-of-validating-statements-to-foster-empathy/
https://drjamielong.com/validation-5-things-not-to-say/
https://counselingcentergroup.com/6-levels-of-validation-dbt-skill/
https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening-techniques/
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